Spangler Family Communication Center

I think that your thoughts were so good and need to be pondered even more. But for now I would say with confidence I do agree with, and yet needed a reminder, that it isn't about the kids but about the parents and thier marriage. Where would I be in twenty or so years when the kids are gone and I'm left with a man whom I no longer know very well. It is definitly better for us to have sleep at night but we also have to weigh the other end of it. Is sleep worth dept or is dept loosing sleep? Think about that a second :) I do know that you are so right about making OUR decision and letting the kids know that it is up to us. Even if it we know it wasn't our idea, so to speak. Well, I hope you know what I mean. Like Aletheia. She has always had a relatively easy bed time routine and she goes to bed without a fuss 95% of the time. It works at grandmas, mamaws, and at home. Since we've moved around and things have been so weird we've had to change it. Do we want it they NEW way. Not really. Does it work? You Betcha. Is it up to Ali how we do it. No way. Did we plan it around her? Oh yes. Does she know that? Not in this life time. We used to tuck her in and leave the room so she could send herself off to lala land. She will only screem our names now and NEVER go to sleep. So instead of her being in control and us running in there to try and shut her up we decided to stay in there with her and read to her til she passes out or until she seems so contented that it wouldn't matter if we left. The goal is, she isn't given the opportunity to cry to get us back in there. It has worked since we started it. Even though we are catering to her she has no clue we are. Now that this is her new routine and she has no reason to cry. Before she would be in control cause she knew we couldn't let her cry. So we eliminated the crying. I have no idea what this will mean for later but for now it has turned into millions of bed time stories and we don't give her the option or need to whine and fuss. We flat wear her out on stories. It's kinda like on the movies when the kids pass out during the story. I always thought, "Yeah right, like that ever happens." But that is actually where I got the idea. Hey maybe you can wear a kid out by reading a billion books. You gotta have some patients but there are no tears and she loves it. I guess in my mind that is how we are in control still. We didn't give into her and come back in twelve time to read to her. We just stayed so we are in control. I don't know if that is really how it works but it made sense in my mind.

Micah on the other hand is a hard cookie to crumble. (And hopefully Ali keeps going to bed all nice and sweatly) We just haven't figured him out yet. He is waking a lot in the middle of the night too. Like each hour even. I think it may be teathing. There is no good way to get him to bed. I dunno really. Help me apply #1 and #2 to him. It isn't as easy for some reason. There is no one good way to get him to bed. Tonight we are armed and ready with the oragel and tylonol to see if that helps. If it doesn't I'm kinda at a loss. It would be nice to do some of the options you were talking about. Believe me we are always looking for a new plan or idea. It is all about timing and the right plan I guess. So far either one or the other was missing. Hopefully this trip to PA will buy us some time and maybe even some sleep. Funny most people thing of loosing sleep when they travel with two kiddos but I can't imagine loosing any more sleep at this point I could only get more. I mean hey long car ride = sleep in my book. I have ear plugs :) Enough to go around even. He he hehehe. Okay maybe it isn't that easy. I'm gonna have to read the five points a few more times and get creative. It may even help me with my toddler discipline attitude. I have a lot to think about. Gees the thinking won't end ever. Not ever. I guess that is half the fun in life. Trying to figure life out. Hmmmm. I'm glad that I have a wonderful family to help me out there though. A girl that doesn't have sisters can at least marry a man with three brothers and be supplied with sister in laws :) Good times. Thanks for the encouragement. It takes a lot of brain cells, as you well know, to do all this thinking up stuff. I guess it will work if they know you are in charge. Now that is a tuffy. Is that next weeks topic? How to let your children know you are in charge when they think they are the only real human being on the planet and everyone else, including their mom, is a robot put on earth for your pleasure and enjoyment?